Virginity Pressures Haunt Wedding Nights in Arab and Muslim Countries

Many women are struggling with their wedding night due to sociological pressures. The woman must remain a virgin before marriage in several Arab and Muslim countries. The British media BBC met with some of them.

Against all odds, Somayya* had married Ibrahim* whom she loved so much. Only, she was far from imagining that her wedding night would make her regret it forever. "With eagerness, and without giving him time to catch his breath, her new husband began to penetrate her hymen as soon as he could, claiming that his love for her justified his haste," it is reported.

At the time, the 23-year-old young woman says she cooperated, despite her exhaustion. "We thought we knew a lot about each other, but everything went out the window when ’no sign of virginity appeared’," she recounts. When the gynecologist declared the next day that Somayya’s hymen was thick and could not be ruptured after a natural childbirth, her husband heaved a sigh of relief. However, the young woman had resolved to divorce; a divorce she did not obtain until she left Syria last June for Europe.

Like Somayya, Jumanah* had experienced a similar case. "He closed the door and told us to hurry, because the elders of the family were waiting for the verification. It was absolutely horrible. (...) Despite my physical pain and emotional distress, my husband’s only concern was this blood stain. (...) I did not bleed that night, so my husband broke the silence of the night by shouting: ’There is no blood!’" she recounts. After 20 years of marital conflict, she ended her marriage, then settled in Brussels with her children. Jumanah, 45, confesses to now living happily, as she was able to divorce her husband and the society that did not treat her at all fairly.

*borrowed names