Moroccan Mother Torn Between Growing Old at Home and Staying Close to Her Children in the Netherlands
After living in the Netherlands for thirty years, Nezha, a 51-year-old Moroccan woman, would like to grow old in her country of origin. But her children have built their lives in the Netherlands. In an interview with her daughter Maria, she explains what is keeping her from deciding to return.
Nezha left Morocco alone thirty years ago. In the Netherlands, she started a family, raised her children and built a life. Today, the idea of returning to her country of origin remains close to her heart. “I would really like to return to Morocco, but I can’t leave my children either,” she says in a report published on November 2 by Dutch media outlet Ey! Daily.
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What also holds her back is her children’s future. When they have families of their own, Nezha would like to stay close to help them raise their little ones. She says she would be happy to do so, even if it means postponing her return to Morocco.
Her daughter Maria, 23, sees things differently. She works at a care home for older people, where she helps serve meals. The experience has led her to think about how she might care for her mother as she gets older.
“My biggest nightmare”
“I wouldn’t want to see my mother in a care home. That’s my biggest nightmare,” Maria explains. She knows that her career and future children could make things difficult, but she wants to try to care for Nezha.
Her mother is nevertheless trying to prepare her for a different reality. In the Netherlands, children have to work and build lives of their own. Nezha hopes to remain active, enjoy time with her children and future grandchildren, and avoid becoming a burden to them.
This closeness between family members is important to Moroccans in the Netherlands. A recent study on older Moroccans and their children found that the latter lived, on average, twice as close to their parents as children in Dutch families.
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Above all, Maria wants her mother to be able to live her coming years without financial worries, but also to return to Morocco. She knows how much Nezha cares about her brothers and sisters who stayed in the country. Her hope is that Nezha can spend time with them, settle in Morocco when she wants to, and return to the Netherlands to see her children.
